I like to think of myself as a pretty level-headed person. If I were any calmer, I would be dead. My pulse is at 54 beats per minute. I don’t know how much more tranquil I can get.
Now, for the contradiction: I’m a very high-anxiety person. This anxiety has materialized this semester in a cacophony of negative thoughts, terrible grades, and even worse personal circumstances. If you would like to read some anger/frustration/general badness:
- @ The People Who Broke Into Our Apartment: Are you serious? Like, did you not think we’d catch you? There are cameras, my guy.
- @ The Honda Dealership: You cannot tell me that my cabin filter needs to be changed by showing me a dirty, circular air conditioning filter. My filter is a rectangle. I just changed it last week. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.
- @ My Car: Please stop breaking. You cost many dollars and I only have so many of them.
- @ My Very Unsympathetic Math Teacher: I’m sorry. I’m trying.
- @ My Chronic Illness: Look, I get that you freak out when we’re stressed but can you not, please? It’d make our lives easier.
- @ The Upstairs Neighbors: What are you doing?
- @ My Roommates: Please stop being problematic. We can all be friends if you stop over-analyzing things. Also, why are there 10 cups in the living room? There’s only four of us.
Therefore, my general tranquility has descended into madness. I’ll be honest though, blogging does help me come to terms with the craziness of it all. I’ve mastered the concept of accepting the things you cannot avoid.
Acceptance aside, blogging has been good for me over this semester; I try to make blogging/journalling a priority even when it isn’t a school assignment. When something’s on a page, I feel like it’s out of my head; I can look at it objectively. My Creative Writing class has given me a lot more confidence in my writing, too; it forces me to finish pieces and revamp them – emphasis on finishing.
This blog has also given me a reason to read more – albeit sometimes forcibly. I always forget how much I love reading in-between books; I’m gonna commit to picking up a novel more often.
As for the blog itself, all good things must come to an end. I need to materalize my writing skills elsewhere and unfortunately, this kind of blogging is not my priority right now. I’ve appreciated all the kind comments and neat conversation that readers have offered; I know most of you are here for the assignment-comments, but I like that people seem to read the things I write rather than just skim it for assignment’s sake.
Happy writing and happy reading.
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